I like fiction that makes me feel represented. I think this is something most people can relate to, even if they don’t realize it.

Unfortunately, representation is harder to find for some people than for others. I exist at the intersection of many minority identities. I am a lesbian, I am trans, I am autistic, I am polyamorous, I am part of a plural system. If you are any of those things, you are probably aware that it is difficult to find good representation of them in fiction. Not impossible. In fact, they are becoming more common, especially within the realm of webfic. And even plurality (which is, of the identities listed, probably the most difficult to find good representation of) now has, in my opinion, at least one instance of very impressive mainstream representation in Sanderson’s The Stormlight Archive.

In addition to all those things, I am in a consanguinamorous relationship with my sister. Finding good consang representation in fiction is, in my opinion, next-level difficult. While there have been significant strides in the acceptance of LGBT people and polyamorous relationships in the past couple of decades, consanguinamory (which is, for those unaware, a word which refers to consensual incestuous love) is still looked down upon by many people as being some combination of taboo, immoral, or disgusting. This leads to negative representation in the form of bury-your-consangs stories, or in the form of fiction in which consang relationships are presented as intrinsically toxic, negative, etc. Other forms of negative representation portray incestuous love more for shock value, as a joke, or for cheap titillation, and yet another form seeks to justify certain relationships (step-sibling relationships, for instance) as being morally okay because they aren’t “real incest” (with the implication that “real incest” is immoral or bad or whatever). There are many works (especially anime) which fall into these patterns of representation that I find unsatisfying, so I won’t even try to list them.

I will talk about some examples of consang fiction that I have found satisfying, as they have all, in some way, acted as inspiration for this project. 1 x 1/2, by Nakamura Taiyaki, is an adorable mother/daughter romance manga which manages to be wholesome even while remaining somewhat grounded in the practical realities of such a relationship. Unfortunately, it is incomplete, though the existing story is quite wonderful.

Met My Sister on a Dating Site, by Mochi Au Lait, is a fantastically wholesome, fluffy, and whimsical sister/sister romance manga. I love it, and highly recommend it, though it is very short.

There’s also The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, a visual novel that features a brother and sister. While I’m not yet certain if it is actual consang romance (and I will be somewhat disappointed if they don’t get some sort of romantic ending), I like it. Despite the toxicity of the two sibling main characters and the dark things they go through, there’s an incredible levity to the writing that makes it joyful, rather than painful, to play. The existence of the game and its broader controversial nature have also pushed consanguinamory into being an actual discussion in some queer circle, and some fan-groups for the game have even become small bastions of consang people and allies.

I’ll finally mention Yosuga no Sora, an anime adaptation of an eroge visual novel by the same name which features, among other pairings, a twin brother/sister romance. I really enjoy the twins’ relationship in this work. The consang arc is very serious and even somewhat dark, however, and seeing the twins go through a large amount of mental anguish over their relationship is quite hard to watch.

Perhaps you will notice a pattern here. Even among the consang fiction that I have found and enjoyed, nothing quite seemed to fully satisfy me. I wanted something novel-length, something which was long enough to develop a relationship and the characters and allow me to just experience an adorable relationship for a while. I also wanted something (much like 1 x 1/2) that explored some of the realities of having a consang relationship in the modern world without being overly dark and brooding. In particular, I wanted to see a consang couple overcoming or moving past consangphobic obstacles without being crushed or traumatized by them. And of course, bonus points for them being lesbians, bonus points for them being siblings, bonus points if they’re trans, and even bonus points if it’s a fantasy adventure sort of story (which is just a genre I’ve always been a huge fan of).

Now while it’s entirely possible that I could find fiction that fits all these requirements by trawling through ElsAnna fanfic on AO3 (and honestly, I probably should do just that), at some point, I got frustrated, and I said “Fuck it. If I can’t find the sort of representation I want, I’ll write my own.”

And that took me here. To this book/story/novel/thing. My attempt at making the kind of representation I want: the story of a consang romance between two transbian sisters. A story that hopefully challenges the characters without being downright dark or painful. And a story that has other interesting fantasy elements going on, besides just the romance itself.

I’ll also briefly talk about some other sources of inspiration for this book. The way I wrote the magic was heavily inspired by Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere works (though I should note that it’s aspirational of me to even present that). Sanderson is my favorite author ever, and the way he does magic, by building simple pieces with well-defined rules into complex systems, is absolutely wonderful. The setting, which features semi-clandestine magical organizations within a modern Earth, was inspired by Fate/Zero (and other entries in Type-Moon’s work—in terms of scale it may actually be closer to Kara no Kyoukai).

The main characters are largely inspired by myself and my sister. Is that a bit self-inserty? Yeah, probably. But I’ve tried to give them some reasonable flaws as well, and even without those they’re not really one-to-one representations. Also, I haven’t gone so far as to make the characters plural and polyamorous. While I really want those kinds of representation, it felt like an awful lot of moving parts to have to write, and I wanted to start with something simpler. Hopefully if I keep writing, plurality and polyamory will make it into future books.

Caveat emptor: this is an unfinished draft. A largely unedited draft, at that. I plan to release it sorta webfic style, a chapter at a time as they get written. Perhaps I’ll do a revision pass once I’ve at least written through to the end. Also, the only fiction I’ve written before was a short story in like middle school. So I don’t know if this’ll end up being good.

Hopefully, even if it’s not that good, it will still bring joy to other representation-starved consangs. If that’s you, I wish you truly the best. And if you do know fiction like what I’m looking for, message me on Reddit or something.